The Ironman was held here in South Lake Tahoe last weekend. An Ironman consists of a 2.4 mile swim, a 112 mile bike ride, followed by a 26.2 mile run. It snowed at upper elevations the night before the competition and, the morning of, the water temperature was twice as warm as the outside air. There are photos of the athletes in the transition area: they are barefoot, in speedos, on a frozen ground while volunteers, decked out in snowsuits, help them into their cycling gear. There's a photo of one of them slipping on the frozen ground. It actually takes your breath away imagining how cold these athletes were at the time of the competition. I've heard that women competitors sat in the transition area, shivering, for up to 45 minutes before getting on their bicycles to continue on with the competition.
In conversation about this particular Ironman last weekend, one of my customers mentioned she believed that to do these kinds of distances, in this kind of weather, is a "desecration of the human body." We bantered for a while, asking, "What were they trying to prove?" "Who were they trying to impress?" "What is the point?" "You are hurting your body at these extremes." A desecration. That word really struck me. For days leading up to the event I kept thinking about how brave the athletes were: to get into that cold water, to get out into freezing air and have a wind chill on a wet body for over 100 miles. Not to mention the extremes of the distances. These people were my heroes. I've always wanted to do an Ironman. A desecration. I'm not surprised, when I think about it, that those who hurt themselves, and push their bodies to these limits, are my heroes. Those who desecrate their bodies, for some twisted reason, are my heroes. The experience couldn't have been fun. It couldn't have been good for a body. A desecration. Why do we idolize those who desecrate their bodies? Why do we insist on putting our bodies through the wringer? We deprive our bodies, of food, of sleep and rest. We push ourselves to unhealthy limits: running through painful tendinitis, going to the gym when we are sick. We use unhealthy methods to process emotions: drinking, overeating, over exercising. What are we trying to prove?
This reminds me of the letters I've written from my mind to my body and my body to my mind. In general, my mind is always angry at my body for having needs and never being able to keep up. My mind is a dictator and my body is constantly being punished. My body desperately wants my mind to listen to and take care of simple needs, to not push it so hard, and accept it for what it is naturally.
I can relate to people who desecrate their bodies. We use our bodies to prove something to the world. We use our bodies to express emotions we do not know how to articulate. We use our bodies to get attention. We see our body as a project, something to improve, instead of an ally, a temple, something to be worshiped.
How have you desecrated your body? How have you worshiped it? I am working on forgiving myself for all the pain I've inflicted on my undeserving body, working on seeing my body as a temple. This starts with looking at the reasons I desire to desecrate. Why I desire to escape. Why I desire attention. What do I really need and why do I think changing my body or expressing using my body will get it for me? This is where the work starts. Working on worshiping.
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