And what? I always want to ask. You think you'll be happier if you fit in a smaller size short? A smaller jacket?
What if you thought the same thing about your shoe size? What if your response to your body dissatisfaction was, "I'll just cut off my toes and I'll fit into that size 7 shoe." People would think you have lost your mind. Yet, somehow, women in our society are constantly striving for some perfect body that the media has told us we are supposed to be. We are always contemplating, "If only I had her arms, or her butt. If only my thighs and stomach, blah, blah, blah." We think we'll be happier if we had someone else's body, someone else's shape, some perfect shape we think we can attain if we just work hard enough.
Everyone has a natural body weight. This is the weight at which your body settles if you are eating when you are hungry and stopping when you are comfortably full. I learned through years of having, and recovering from, an eating disorder that when I have clothes that don't fit me, I will be constantly trying to change my body to fit into these clothes. It breaks my heart now to hear women in my store exclaiming that they just need to lose a little weight. I want to ask them, why not buy clothing that fits your body as it is now instead of leading yourself down a path of body dissatisfaction?
Buy clothing that fits your natural body weight is one step toward accepting your natural, beautiful body, just as it is. Having clothing that is too small leads one into a vicious cycle of body image issues and disordered eating.
This is the cycle:
- I have a pair of jeans that I want to fit into, I call them my skinny jeans. I subconsciously believe that all my problems will be solved if I were skinny enough to fit into these jeans. I believe I will be more successful, prettier, better liked, etc, if I were just thin enough to fit into my skinny jeans.
- I start dieting to fit into those jeans. My body and brain go into deprivation mode. I am always hungry and feel weak because I am dieting. But it's okay to abuse my body this way, because soon I'll fit into those jeans, and all my problems will be solved.
- My body feels so deprived from the dieting, I allow myself to have a little dessert. But while I'm having "a little dessert" an overwhelming feeling comes over me that I'll never get to eat again because I've been dieting for so long. I lose myself in eating and eat until I am uncomfortably full. I tell myself I won't eat, or I'll "eat healthy" for a couple days to make up for how much I just ate.
- The dieting, and deprivation, have led me into a binge cycle. I've been deprived for so long that every time I go to eat I think, "This is it, this is the last time I'm ever going to be allowed to eat." I eat uncontrollably until I am uncomfortably full and feel so guilty and disgusted with myself every time I overeat, I want to crawl out of my skin. But I've been so hungry, I can't help it. If I stray from the diet at all during the day, I throw in the towel for the rest of the day and binge, thinking, "I'll make up for it tomorrow."
- I am so unhappy with my body. All I can think about is how much I hate my body and food; avoiding food, cooking food, researching food, buying food. My whole thinking pattern has changed, there's no room in my brain for anything but dieting, weight, and body hatred.
What if?
Say these statements out loud to yourself and image if you believed them.
- I am allowed unlimited access to food. I know, and accept the fact, that I can always eat when I am hungry. I never have to starve again.
- I would eat when I am hungry and stop when I am full. I would stop dieting. I would be able to eat just one piece of cake in a sitting, instead of the entire cake, because I know that I can always have more if I want. I would grant myself unconditional permission to eat what my body craves, I would listen to and honor my hunger.
- I buy clothing that fits my natural body weight
- I would put on clothing everyday that fits and not try to stuff myself into clothing a several sizes to small. Putting on clothing that is too small leads me to believe that I am too big. It makes me think that I'm the problem, not the clothing. Having clothes that fit me at my natural body weight, I would begin accepting my body the way it is, and I would stop abusing my body.
- I accept that I have a natural body weight and I refuse to abuse my body to change it.
- I would stop starving. I would stop bingeing. I would stop feeling guilty every time I ate. I would take my power back. I would stop feeling like I had to compensate every time I ate. I would stand up for myself and the body I am in naturally. My mind would be free from obsessive thoughts of food and exercise. My mind would be full of my life, not my weight.
"If I just lost a little weight." Imagine what you have to sacrifice and put your body through to "lose a little weight". Not everyone takes dieting to the extreme, but I know how heartbreaking it is to be uncomfortable in your skin, to want to "lose a little weight." There will always be a piece of you that wants to lose a little more, your goal will always be a few pounds away. There is nothing real waiting for you at the end of the weight loss rainbow. Just a stupid pair of jeans. You could sacrifice your whole life to fit into those jeans, that pursuit could take away everything, for nothing. Instead of putting effort into just losing a little weight, put that effort into accepting your natural body weight.
