Self- Care in Recovery

When deep in my struggle I stopped putting energy into self-care. I didn't have the energy to care for myself and, more importantly, didn't think I deserved to take good care of myself. Simple acts of self-care, brushing my teeth and hair, as well as showering, seemed to take too much energy. The eating disorder thought these acts were taking focus away from weight loss and the eating disorder always wanted me to feel bad about myself. If I started spending time on my appearance, and taking care of myself, I might start feeling good about myself, my self-esteem might increase, and the eating disorder wanted none of this.
While in treatment, I learned that it is alright to spend time on myself. I gave myself permission to spend time on taking care of myself. I focused on showering everyday. I washed, brushed, and blow dried my hair. I painted my nails. All of these acts made me feel special. Each of these acts reminded me that I am worth spending time on, and I deserve to spend time on myself.
Spending time on myself, and making myself feel worthy, took power away from the eating disorder. Learning acts of self-care increased my self-worth and self-esteem. I've learned, and believe, I deserve every second I spend on myself. When I spend time on myself it is not shameful, it is empowering. When I spend time on myself I spend loving energy on myself, I spend time appreciating myself. These acts increase my self-esteem and take power away from the eating disorder. 
Self-care is also time taken away from eating disordered behaviors and thoughts. When I am blow drying my hair, painting my nails, or getting a massage this is time I am not acting on eating disordered urges and thoughts. Every time I do not engage in eating disordered behaviors, the eating disorder loses power. Self-care has helped me overpower the eating disorder.